Settling your child into nursery can feel emotional, overwhelming and exciting all at once. For many families, starting nursery is the first time parents and children spend extended time apart.

In this guide, we share practical, expert-backed tips on starting nursery and explain how to help your child settle into nursery with confidence.

Why settling into nursery can feel difficult

Starting nursery is a major developmental milestone. Separation anxiety is completely normal and this is the case for both children and parents.

For your child, nursery means:

• New adults
• New children
• New routines
• New rules
• A different environment

For parents, it can mean:

• Guilt
• Worry about you child’s food or sleep
• Concerns about their emotional wellbeing
• Fear your child will be upset

But with preparation and the right nursery support, most children do adjust well.

Settling your child into nursery is not always easy for parents. This article highlights top tips on starting nursery and how to help your child settle into nursery.

Tips on settling into nursery

Leaving your child can cause distress and anxiety not only for the child but also the parent or carer. This may be the first time you have been apart from your child. This initial separation can be very hard on both of you. These tips can help both you and your child adjust to what is a new and exciting stage in your child’s life.

1. Get your child used to other children

Before starting nursery, attend:

• Baby and toddler groups
• Soft play sessions
• Music or rhyme classes

These help your child:

• Learn to share
• Follow simple instructions
• Develop early language skills
• Build confidence around peers

Marta Piotrowska, Manager at Colville Nursery & Pre-School (LEYF), recommends music groups:

“Music helps children learn new words, follow rhymes and develop early maths skills through counting and rhythm.”

Exposing your child to small group settings will make the nursery transition smoother.

2. Practise the route to nursery

Make a point of walking or driving past the nursery several times so they can become familiar with the nursery and what it looks like.

Familiarity reduces anxiety.

Try:

• Pointing out the gates and entrance
• Noticing particular landmarks on the way
• Talking about the bus number or train platform if you are using public transport

When the environment feels familiar, it becomes less intimidating.

3. Be positive and smile when talking about nursery to your child

Be positive and cheerful when you talk to your child about nursery as he or she will quickly pick up on any feelings of anxiety.

• When your child is very young, you are the main influence in their life and their mood will often be affected by yours.
• If you make nursery sound like an exciting place, they will hopefully see it as that.

Nursery practitioners will have lots of experience in dealing with the transition to nursery so do talk to them about any concerns you have.

4. Be prepared for your child to cry

Many children cry during the first days or weeks.

This does not mean:

• They dislike nursery
• You’ve made the wrong decision
• They won’t settle

You need to have trust in the nursery staff as they are very used to this and you need to stay emotionally strong so your child doesn’t pick up on your emotions.

Alex McClean, Deputy Manager at Colville Nursery & Pre-School (LEYF), says:

“The nursery staff do all they can to ensure the child is soothed. They give them cuddles and gently distract them with activities and resources.”

5. Get to know parents at the nursery

After pickup, consider:

• Visiting a nearby park
• Arranging small playdates
• Staying for nursery events

Familiar faces outside nursery hours strengthen friendships and will give your child emotional security.

It also gives you a support network and this is also very important.

6. Go to events run by the nursery

Whether it’s Father’s Day, an Easter egg hunt or a Christmas party, your nursery will plan events for parents to attend.

This is also a great opportunity to mix with other parents and carers and see your child socialise and play with other children.

7. Join a WhatsApp group

Many nurseries run parent groups to:

• Organise playdates
• Share updates
• Build community

Knowing other parents can reduce your own anxiety which helps your child too.

8. Let your child’s settling in process go at the speed of the child

Some children will struggle to settle in a nursery environment. It is important to let the settling in process go at the speed of your child. Recognise that being in unfamiliar surroundings with unfamiliar people can be overwhelming for them.

• Some nurseries will arrange a home visit. This helps them get to know your child in a familiar environment and find out their likes and dislikes.
• Other nurseries will like your child to do some short nursery visits so they feel comfortable and secure.

There is a statutory requirement for all nurseries to have a key worker who will liaise with you while your child is at nursery and support your child’s emotional well being.

All nurseries will have a settling in policy and it is useful to see this to help prepare you and your child for the transition to nursery.

9. How does a nursery help children settle in?

Most nurseries offer short settling in sessions that you can attend with your child so you are there as a reassurance while they get used to their new surroundings.

This helps you to get to know the nursery staff. You can answer any questions they may have about your child. You can also watch your child interacting with their peers.

Most nurseries use structured settling-in sessions.

According to Alex McClean:

“The settling in process takes time, care and commitment to ensure a smooth transition from home to nursery.”

Typical settling in structure

First Day

• The parent stays with their child
• Meet the staff, including their key worker
• Discuss their food preferences and routines
• Staff can find out the child’s comfort toy or what gives them reassurance

Food can be a big concern for parents but many children do eat better alongside their peers.

Second Day

• Shorter stay for parent
• Child spends more independent time
• Early pickup

Colville Nursery & Pre-School (LEYF) asks parents and carers to pick their children up earlier on the second days. This is because “we find children settle better if parents and carers come to pick the child up earlier. Children can get upset if they see a lot of other children going and think their parents or carers aren’t coming,” says Ms Piotrowska.

Third Day

• Longer session
• Includes lunch and possibly nap time

Gradual exposure builds confidence.

How long does it take for a child to settle into nursery?

There is no universal timeline and every child is different.

Typical adjustment periods:

• A few days for some children
• Two to four weeks for others

Factors that affect settling time:

• Age
• Temperament
• Frequency of attendance
• Previous childcare experience

If your child attends just one session per week, settling may take longer due to gaps between visits.

Will my child take longer to settle if English is their second language?

Children are incredibly adaptable.

However, support helps.

Parents can:

• Provide key words in their first language
• Share important phrases (mummy, daddy, toilet, food names)
• Explain cultural routines or comfort strategies

This helps staff communicate effectively and ensures your child feels included.

Most bilingual children adjust quickly with the right support.

FAQs