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What is controlled crying?
Controlled crying is an emotive subject that evokes strong emotions in parents, leaving many to question whether they should put the sleep training technique into practice or not?
Advocates claim it saved their sanity and their baby’s sleep. But others say it is ‘abuse’ which can cause long-term emotional and psychological damage.
Controlled crying is also known as the Ferber method.
Controlled crying involves putting a baby to bed while they are still awake. They are then left to cry for gradually increasing intervals before they are given any comfort.
Parents can return to reassure the baby. But they are not meant to pick them up. The goal is to help babies fall asleep independently rather than relying on rocking, feeding, or constant parental presence.
Pros of controlled crying
1. Teaches children to sleep independently
Mandy Gurney, founder of the Millpond Sleep Clinic, believes controlled crying teaches children from an early age to sleep independently.
“Controlled crying does not mean you abandon your baby,” she said. “Instead you return to briefly check on them at set intervals for reassurance. The length of time between visits is gradually increased until your baby is asleep.
“A child that cannot self-settle will invariably be a poor napper.
“Most often they will wake after a short sleep cycle of 30-45 minutes. Teaching your child to self-settle at night will improve the length and quality of their naps.
“The key to this technique is not to stroke, pat or re-position the baby. This type of contact could be seen as a reward for crying.
“Instead of reducing the crying, it could teach a child to cry for a set period before parents go in to cuddle or stroke them, thus inadvertently encouraging them to cry.”
2. Teaches self-regulation
Advocates of controlled crying claim it teaches babies to self-soothe.
Wendy Hall, a researcher in sleep training, believes helping babies to sleep is very important as it teaches self–regulation.
Crying, she points out, is a baby’s only form of communication. Therefore, parents will not harm their sense of attachment by attending to their distress. They will inevitably help them to develop the tools (both physiologically and emotionally) to ‘self-soothe’.
3. Babies fall asleep faster and wake less frequently
Controlled crying can lead to babies falling asleep faster and waking up less frequently during the night, according to a study by Flinders University.
Controlled crying was found to decrease the length of time it took babies to fall asleep. They were reported to fall asleep 13 minutes quicker, on average, and woke up significantly less during the night.
Researchers said they found no significant differences in the stress levels of the babies.
4. Parents’ sleep also improves
If your baby sleeps for longer periods and falls asleep quicker, their parents will also sleep more and get more rest. Looking after a baby can be exhausting. So having more sleep makes parents less stressed and gives them more energy in the day to care for their baby.
Cons of controlled crying
1. Babies are physically unable to self-soothe
Babies are unable to self-soothe due to their ‘immature brains’ and physical development, according to Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author of The Gentle Sleep Book,
She says: “All babies can do is to cry to signal their distress. But stopping the crying does not stop the need. In order to ‘self-soothe’ babies need to be able to fix any physical or emotional problems they experience by themselves and restore to a state of calm. They cannot do this, all they can do is cry for parental help.”
2. Increase in heart rate, temperature and blood pressure
Leaving a baby to cry evokes physiological responses that increase stress hormones, according to Sarah Ockwell-Smith, who says: “Crying infants experience an increase in heart rate, body temperature and blood pressure.
“At best, when a baby is left to cry to sleep they realise their cries will not be responded to. They learn it is hopeless to cry which leaves them stressed.”
She believes this can lead to overheating and says: “Along with vomiting due to extreme distress, it could pose a potential risk of SIDS in vulnerable infants.”
3. Long-term emotional impact
Some are concerned that leaving a baby to cry can have a long term impact on them psychologically.
Ms Ockwell-Smith believes it can result in longer-term emotional effects. “There is compelling evidence that increased levels of stress hormones may cause permanent changes in the stress responses of the baby’s developing brain,” she says.
These changes can affect memory, attention, and emotion. This can trigger an elevated response to stress throughout life, including a predisposition to later anxiety and depressive disorders.
“Unfortunately there are no shortcuts to a good night’s sleep, or even a good nap. Babies outgrow their need for adult help as they get older. Until then all we can do is mask their need,” she says.
“We must ask ourselves, why are we so obsessed with babies sleeping for unnatural lengths of time with unnatural levels of independence?”
4. Distress for parents
Leaving your child to cry and not feeling able to go and comfort them can leave a parent feeling extremely distressed. It can make parents feel guilty and very stressed.
What age is it okay to use controlled crying?
If you do decide to use controlled crying, it should not be used for newborns. Everyone has a different opinion on whether it should be used at all and at what age.
The general consensus is that babies do not know how to self-soothe under the age of three months.
Gina Ford, author of ‘Your Baby and Toddler Problems Solved: A parent’s trouble-shooting guide to the first three years’, advises parents to use the technique with babies aged between six months and one year.
By this age, they should no longer need feeding in the night so may need some form of sleep training, according to Ms Ford..
However the former maternity nurse who cared for over 300 babies during her career, said: “Before commencing on any form of sleep training, parents should always look closely at their babies’ diet.
“In my experience nearly 80 per cent of night wakings with babies under a year are caused by the baby not getting the correct balance of solids and milk during the day.”
What are alternative methods to controlled crying?
Controlled crying is not suitable for every parent and every baby.
It is also important that parents check their baby is not crying for a specific reason before they use the controlled crying technique.
Check they are not crying due to:
- A medical need
- Genuine distress
- They are hungry
- They need their nappy changed
Parents need to do what works for them and their baby.
Most sleep training methods are recommended for babies 6 months and older, when they are developmentally able to self-soothe and no longer need frequent night feeds.
Some other sleep training techniques are:
Pick up/ Put down
Parents will pick the baby up when they cry and comfort them. They will then put them back down drowsy but still awake.
This is repeated until the baby falls asleep independently.
Chair method
The parent sits in a chair next to the cot as the baby falls asleep.
Each night, the parent moves the chair chair farther away until the parent is out of the room.
The technique offers gradual separation while still reassuring the baby.
Bedtime fading
Parents move bedtime later to match when the baby naturally gets tired and falls asleep on their own. Once the baby falls asleep more easily, bedtime is gradually moved earlier.
Gentle sleeping training
When the baby cries, the parent responds immediately with soothing, rocking, or feeding. This method relies on consistent bedtime routines and sleep cues like dim lights, lullabies and comfort.